


Somebody Else

by saintmatrix



Series: Zalex Week 2020 [1]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:53:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintmatrix/pseuds/saintmatrix
Summary: The Valentine's Day dance wasn't supposed to pan out the way that it did but maybe it takes stumbling upon the boy you've been pining after with someone else, a moment of rage and tentative reconciliation for things to finally be put into perspective.Where Zach stumbles upon Winston and Alex at the Valentine's Day dance.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Series: Zalex Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821199
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Somebody Else

The frantic, unyielding pulse of neon lights had everyone hyped up, dancing, looking like a series of crazy stills from some epic movie. Zach could only watch in mild interest, eyes unfocused on the crowd as he took another swig from his flask. He felt himself look up at Alex in a drunken haze from his perch against the bleachers, eyes dazedly taking the time to appreciate his best friend’s thin, pointed face, almost femininely sensitive but jaw strong, and lips plump and perched in an expression of composedness. Alex’s eyes skimmed over the crowd without avail, searching for something fretfully. The moment he seemed to have found that _something_ —he was already abandoning his place on the seat next to Zach, and making his way down the bleachers. 

“Dude, dude. Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going, man?” Zach asked, suddenly being shaken out of his delirious haze at Alex’s departure.

“Ditching you—,” the shorter of the two mused.

“Stop! Stop, why?” Zach giddily demanded, attempting to feign a tone of casual incredibility and fake hurt.

“You’re kinda cramping my style”

“ _What_? Are you serious?” Zach retorted, plastering on a sloppy smile despite Alex’s admission hanging heavy in his chest.

“Yes, you’ll be fine… go work that Dempsey magic,” Alex mussed cheekily, hands outstretched and twinkling in what might’ve been an attempt at jazz hands. 

Zach felt himself perk up at the comment, ready to lure Alex into dancing with him at the opening granted to him, “Oh, you mean a little of this Dempsey magic?” He replied, showing off his tragic attempt at the salsa by swaying his hips. 

After he came back from his elaborate and downright dramatic spin, he saw Alex’s form retreating into the crowd with no implication of turning back to his now lonely best friend. Zach let out a soft deflating sigh, not allowing himself to think too much on why Alex’s departure felt like losing him completely. 

He retrieved the flask from his jacket and took a big swig to impede the onslaught of thoughts and emotions about his best friend that were threatening to consume him. They never addressed the kiss after it had happened, it was just another futile moment compacted into the recesses of their mind— _or Alex’s mind_. What it was to Zach was as simple as it was complicated.

_Fuck, why did he water down his vodka?_

* * *

After his disastrous and possibly friendship-ending altercation with Justin, Zach found himself unable to stand the sight of people or bear the migraine that was threatening to floor him, so he ventured through the hallways in a vain attempt to find the nearest bathroom. 

_He should have stayed inside the hall._

Soon enough, he stumbled upon the narrow hallway leading toward the staff bathrooms, slightly chuckling and rolling his eyes at the sound of wet lips going at it hard behind the vending machine—he could tell that it was a heavy, and intense make out-sesh.

_Good for them._

Just as he was about to enter the bathroom stall, his ears pricked up at the murmurs coming from the now talking couple, one of the two reassuring the other about something before resuming their aforementioned activity. Zach felt his throat close up and eyes prick with that sting that spoke of an impending release, he didn’t want to believe it but he would recognise that voice anywhere. 

The need to confirm his assumption overpowered his next move, compelling him to hurriedly make his way toward the vending machine. The sight before him immediately sobered him up, like an offhand shock to his system— _it was Alex with Winston_. Nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. Zach’s head swam with half-formed regrets and his heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. The two of them were lost in each other’s embrace, ignorant to Zach’s emotional collapse and in a fit of blind rage and jealousy, he let it all out. 

“What the fuck!” Zach nearly screamed but managed to keep his tone level, despite his chest heaving raggedly. 

They flinched apart, Alex registering Zach’s presence, expression filled with despair, guilt and ache.

“Zach—,” Alex softly cried in shock. 

He barely had a minute to reconcile Alex’s pained and guilty response before he pushed the smaller boy away from Winston as burning rage hissed through his body like deathly poison, demanding release in the form of unwanted violence

Winston was a sack of bones and flesh and Zach could’ve done the guy a favour by going easy on him but he threw his body weight behind the fist that edged closer to the dark-haired boy's face, hitting his jaw with such force that blood pooled into his mouth. The impact like thousands of venomous blades pierced at Zach’s clammed fist but he continued his incessant battering until Winston fell to the floor, ears deaf to Alex’s cries for him to stop and immune to the pool of arms that tried to impede his assault. Eventually, he found himself hauled away by Luke’s strong arms and Justin’s hard shove on his chest, snapping him out of his adrenaline high and forcing him to take in Winston’s wrecked state, battered and beaten. 

Zach’s hands shook with no-fail, skin torn and bleeding from his blind strike at the vending machine where Winston had conveniently ducked his incoming fist in a moment of luck. He could give it no consideration because his eyes immediately took in the onslaught of mixed expressions that ranged from disappointment, shock, anger and pity at Zach’s frail condition. But, his eyes could only focus on Alex—the Alex that would not return his gaze but who’s stance spoke of cold, firm indifference and brewing anger, expression plagued with disgust and the familiar notion of disappointment.

Zach deserved it. He deserved everything that was coming to him—a life of misery and pain, a life without Alex it seemed. 

“I’m so—so sorry,” He shakily whispered, tears ready to fall but not before he hurriedly made his way toward the entrance and away from the prying eyes of contempt. 

* * *

The blood had concentrated in the folds of his knuckles making the usually pale creases dark. The congealed red-brown fluid had become caught in the webbing of his trembling fingers, wrists coming up to harshly wipe at briny tears from bloodshot, exhausted eyes. He vainly scoured through the first aid kit his mom had so conveniently stored in his glove box as a precautionary measure given his recent ‘injury-inducing’ activities—trying to locate anything to clean at the now dried blood.

Zach was so done with everything. Done with feeling pathetic, done with everyone’s incessant probing, done with the expectations— _done with being done_ . If he was a better person he’d admit that he felt bad for what he had just done but alas—he wasn’t. He was flawed, imperfect and _fucking hurting_. It felt good, it felt like staking some fucked up claim on Alex—if even for a minute. He knew how totally fucked up that was, he didn’t own Alex—nor did he have any right to be outraged at him for moving on.

_But was it so easy to move on from Zach? Was he really that replaceable?_

Zach was a fucking mess—the same mess that had rejected Alex and cemented his own faith. Sure, he may have been pining after his best friend for _nearly two fucking years_ but he wasn’t cruel enough to condemn Alex to anything short of what he deserved—and what he deserved was _everything_ . Zach couldn’t give him everything. He could barely recognize himself these days, nonetheless, would he allow Alex to bear the weight of his burdens in a half-assed attempt at _something more_. He deserved better. 

In a naive attempt to escape his harsh reality, Zach retreated into his brain, unbeknownst to the slender figure making its way toward him.

Though Alex’s face was cold, unrelentingly and unsettlingly composed—his eyes spoke of uncontained annoyance, simmering fury and reluctant fondness. Zach took the latter as a slight win on his part, allowing the shorter boy to fumble around the insides of the kit in an unspoken agreement to somehow _figure their shit out_ —Zach was attempting to extend the olive branch here. 

It’s how they worked, navigating around each other in an amicable, unspoken way that proved that their relationship went beyond words—they were as comfortable in silence as they were in conversation. No one feature made Alex beautiful, though his eyes came close. People often spoke of the colour of eyes, as if they were of importance, yet Alex’s would be enthralling in any shade. Even when they spoke in indignation at Zach—from them came an intensity, an honesty, a gentleness that couldn't be masked. 

At some point, while lost in the familiar trance, he found Alex standing in between his spread legs as Zach leaned against his car’s hood, eye’s firmly focused on cleaning at the now dried blood on Zach’s hand with the alcohol swabs he had retrieved from the kit. Zach tried to catch his eyes but Alex continued his methodical aid on Zach’s hands, mouth taut and eyes occupied. 

Zach was terrified, terrified that he had jeopardised their sacred bond, terrified that violence and rage were all that Alex would now see him as, terrified that he had lost his first glimpse of happiness and maybe even love—terrified of losing Alex. He didn’t want to be the first to break the tentative silence but he was going to stop being a coward for once in his life, so he broke the ice as Alex wrapped his hands with the gauze.

“Didn’t know you had a boyfriend…,” Zach began, trying to keep his tone level but it came out wobbly, nonetheless. 

The comment halted Alex’s wrapping motion, his brows quickly flicking up in exasperation as he scoffed at Zach’s blatant inability to ‘read the room’. Zach felt himself recoil at the realisation of his own stupidity, eyes looking down at the floor before returning Alex’s gaze, eyes the hue of the new spring growth, bright and soft all at once, regarding Zach with stifled humour and deep consideration. 

“Don’t know that I have one anymore, actually,” Alex retorted, voice slightly bitter with an edge of softness. 

Either way, Zach felt shame fill him at trampling Alex’s chance at some happiness—Zach claimed that he wanted to give Alex everything but he was the one destroying his chance at finding that? At the realisation, the shame intensified, causing him to hang his head dejectedly. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, eyes taking a sudden interest in the slab of cracked concrete beneath his feet.

Alex softly sighed, hands resuming their cyclical motion with the gauze, “I’m not sure that you are, Zach,” he admitted defeatedly. 

The admission had his head snapping back to return Alex’s gaze, the dread crept down his spine like a careful spider leaving a trail of silk. Zach felt her feet on his skin, descending until he was almost frozen to the spot. He doesn’t know if it’s the repressed feelings he may be forced to confront or Alex’s potential awareness of Zach’s feelings that causes his breath to catch and heart to stutter, but either way—he’s caught even more, off guard.

In a moment of spontaneous bravery, he says, “No—I’m not”

Zach swore he saw Alex flinch at his admission but his prolonged silence did nothing to quell the self-deprecating thoughts that were about to consume him. The shorter boy twirled the gauze around his thumb, securing it in place before he finally impeded Zach’s internal undoing. 

“Why, Zach?” Alex asked softly, hands coming to rest on Zach’s thighs as crystal green eyes gazed into Zach’s soul—unbeknownst to the relentless pounding of his heart.

“Why what?” He replied, attempting to feign obliviousness at his question.

Alex raised a brow and put on his ‘don’t fucking act like you don’t know’ face. Zach felt himself yield.

“I think you know…,” He admitted with the utmost hesitance, eyes resigning back down to that interesting slab of concrete to avoid Alex’s upcoming fury, anger, spite—anything to avoid his impending rejection. 

He heard Alex’s sharp intake of breath, eyes finding those orbs— the colour of springtime ferns, eyes that spoke of unreconciled disbelief, confusion and a muted reemergence of hope. 

Alex shook his head in incredulity, brows furrowed with that familiar indent, “But—but that night—on the rooftop… you said—,” Alex began incoherently, eyes relentlessly tracing Zach’s face for any confirmation to his assumption. 

“I lied, okay? I’m a fucking coward and—and I was scared—still am but I lied… it was the furthest thing from the truth,” Zach interrupted, voice unsteady but heart bared so honestly and openly so much so that, he would not recover if Alex found that Zach wasn’t what he wanted or needed anymore. 

Alex’s breathing became softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. He had that _look_ again—that look of deep consideration, the look that spoke of knowingness, the look that emanated hope, genuine contentment and _love—_ it was the same look he had that night. He thinks he must be looking back at him in the same way because he felt all those same emotions consume him. There is something about that gaze of his that Zach will never find in another person as if at that moment their souls have made a bridge.

_It was always Alex. It’ll always, only ever be—Alex._

“Okay,” Alex simply stated, lips upturned in a small smile.

“Okay?” Zach asked puzzledly, unsure as to what that single word entailed. 

Alex smiled. The way his lips lifted upward. The way his one dimple crinkled. The way his teeth are perfectly aligned. The warm glow his happiness gives. His smile was a ray of sunshine, and Zach was a sunburn. At that moment, he felt at ease and realised that _yeah—_ it’d be okay, they’d be okay. 

Zach couldn’t contain his smile either, good thumb coming up to trace at Alex’s impossibly high cheekbones before trailing back done to cup at his chin.

“Okay,” he reaffirmed, before pulling the shorter boy in for a kiss. 

_They’d be okay. He’d be okay._

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, and I hope you enjoyed this fic! Here is my overdue contribution to Day 1 of Zalex Week 2020, the prompt being hurt/comfort. We were robbed of jealous!zach and there were great moments for us to see his repressed gay ass lose it at seeing Alex with someone else, especially moments that could have prompted their deserved endgame but alas, the writers suck and let go of the best thing they created. I am hoping to contribute to the week as extensively as possible but don't mind my lateness because I'm battling school in the process so if I do throw something together, it'll most probably be delayed hahaha. As mentioned in my other zalex fic, zalex nation is campaigning for a spin-off series and a petition and carrd has been made in hopes of gathering a large audience to further our request. Please consider signing the petition at least 30 x a day for about 4 weeks as the campaigners believe we will be able to gather 10K+ signatures if as little as 20 ppl participated adamantly.
> 
> 13rw/zalex spin-off petition - http://chng.it/DHStTSgnLw  
> carrd - https://13rwzalexspinoff.carrd.co/


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